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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

It's ALL vacation with little ones!

Lindsey's rant on her blog makes me want to respond: (To see her blog entry, follow the link to their blog on the right)

To start, I COMPLETELY disagree with that whole entry, and can barely relate. No, we are not lying nor are we kidding ourselves.

When Ali and I were in Hawaii, we did think, "Should we be lazy here, at the pool, or on the beach with Anisha." We knew that we could nap when Anisha napped. We took pictures of the sunset, drank on the sunset cruise and Luau, and we didn't want to come back. As for sex, well, as any new parents can attest, it decreases with kids, BUT, you can find the time for that intimacy if you look for the opportunities.
Anisha did wake at 5:30 am, but that was because of the time difference. Hell, so did Ali and I, but I am an early riser anyways, so maybe that doesn't count. ANY restaurant can be child-friendly. We don't have the luxury of eating at the $50/person restaurants, and, quite frankly, we don't want to. We want to enjoy our meal and have fun. Travel is expensive enough as it is. In the end, Ali and I have NEVER asked ourselves if it was a good idea or not.
Anisha sleeps in a playpen and I sleep with Ali. Intimacy happens on a case by case basis. (As I always say, if something is important to you, or you think if should be important, you MAKE time for it).

I am a parent now and I don't want to be up all night drinking and partying. In fact, I was never for that lifestyle. Now that we have Anisha, we are thrilled to go out with her and be back at a reasonable hour to reflect on the day.

Our Hawaii vacation was great: It was both a trip and a vacation. Sure, we had people to watch Anisha when we wanted alone time, but many resorts/vacation spots in the world offer hourly childcare. (Yes, you have to use your best judgment with that, but that goes without saying, doesn't it.) And, when you are with your child, you get to see them experience life anew, and that is what vacations are all about: seeing them have fun and you enjoying it with them.

When I grew up, our "vacations" were always planned and stressful for my mom. She always came back home and wanted another vacation to relax. I never understood that. Maybe because I was a kid then, but even now, I don't really understand. My planning for a vacation is to know where we are going, what OPTIONS there are for activities, and we plan them on the moment, or a little before hand should the need arise. To this day, I have NEVER come back from a vacation, or trip, and felt stressed out.

Maybe I've just never taken life that seriously. I just know to enjoy myself and be serious when situations demand.

In the end:
1. All vacations can be great if you learn to RELAX!!! (I mean, isn't that the key?)
2. If something is important to you, make time for it to happen!
3. My tenant in life: I don't blame people for their problems, I only ask that they deal with them.


Matthew, Lindsey & Connor said...

Well, kids (amd parents) are all different. Anisha is very placid whereas connor has always been very curious and interactive.

When we were in Hawaii, she was only 5 months old, which is a completely different ball game. My post, along with the book entry I spoke of refered to TODDLERS.
I also remember Anisha crying a lot or just being left there to tough it out on her own. We as parents are different, in whereas we know when Connor is just being a little turd for attention, or if the situation really is unfair to him where he shouldn't just be left to cry and tough it out because we want to do what we want to do. As a single person, I would get irritated trying to have a nice dinner while there was a screaming or crying baby or toddler a couple of tables away. Out of respect for others dining in the restaurant, I try my best to keep my child quiet and occupied. It's hard to realax when you have to keep an eye on them the whole time, making sure they keep safe.

Our son wants to learn about the world, and tries to learn things by "getting into them." That's normal. he is not unusual or a trouble maker. He's also very routine and when it's nap time, it's nap time and if he's having a tantrum because we as parents knew he should be in bed and instead took him out for dinner and expected him to sit quietly at 1 years old for 45 mins, that's our fault, not his.

Perhaps when Anisha gets a little older, a little more curious and energetic, like all kids do, you'll be able to relate a little better.

Obviously it's not just us, since I've heard many jokes, conversations and obviously books that refer to it.

I'm not sure how well this 7 hour drive to PA is going to go next weekend where i can't expect a 21 month old to sit and stare out the window for 7 hours. He wants to get down and play like all kids. I, as an adult don't even like sitting in the car that long.

Anonymous said...

I personally agree with Lindsey's Blog I find it quite funny actually because my husband and I don't have any kids but seeing other couples on trip / vacations I feel sorry for you because to me it looks more work

Matthew, Lindsey & Connor said...

Something else I just remembered - if my memory serves correctly, it was Alison who did the unpacking and packing for Anisha. you came a day late and left a day early. It was also her that traveled with the baby the long distance on the plane (to which she barfed and Ali had to deal with that) while you flew alone, first class.
But as i said before, when Anisha is a toddler, I'm sure things will change.

Also, my entry was a light-hearted entry meant to giggle at how lives change, not a rant or a bitch. It wasn't even written by me, it was taken from a book.

I take offense to the 3 points listed at the bottom of your blog, which I assume are directed my way.

Anonymous said...

I have read Lindsey's blog and can totally relate with the portion from the book that she has outlined.

My children are older, but I have been there.

I know I will be opening up a whole can of worms with this comment but I think there is a big difference between the male/female role in "planning" and actually getting organized for w/e trips and vacations.

I realize that EVERYONE is different and this doesn't apply to all men, but for most people I know this is the scenerio....the couple plan the trip, then it is up to the wife/mom to pack for everyone, which means clothing, toys, books, etc...whatever it takes to make the trip more enjoyable for the kids, which in turn makes it more enjoyable for us grown ups too!

I don't care what anyone says, having children DOES change your life and your relationship. Anyone who says it doesn't is kidding themself! It is inevitable. It is part of parenting and part of "growing up" and taking responsibility for the life of a new precious human being! You put the needs of your child before yours! A happy child makes life so much nicer for everyone!

I travelled tons with my kids, maybe not to exotic islands, but we did many, many weekend trips and they were work, but I wouldn't change them for anything. We have wonderful memories and those life experiences have made my kids who they are today.

So to make a long story short I think the book Lindz was referring to was pretty darn accurate when it comes to travelling with toddlers.